Letters and a Baseball Bat
by TsubakiTwilight
Summary: 2P!America has decided to accept letters after hearing his fellow nations talk about it. Send in your letters as an OC, fellow Nation or an animal! Alfred F. Jones will (hopefully) answer them all. Keep all letters Rated T! Coverart done by shadzu!
1. Chapter 1

Sup dudes,

So I heard that tons of other nations were doing this letter thing and thought, why the hell not? So send in your letters and junk and if I feel like it I'll answer them.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. If ya haven't figured it out, I'm 2P America so don't confuse me with that goody goody counterpart of mine.

P.P.S. Try not to piss me of m'kay?

**HETALIA!**

**TsubakiTwilight:** Yeah, here with another letter fic this time featuring 2P!America! Hopefully I got his personality down and a word of caution, this story is rated T due to Alfred's potty mouth so be warned!

The coverart is done by shadzu and you can follow her on Tumblr! She runs an ask 2P America blog so check her out!

And one more thing, I know about the other 2P America that was/is going to invade Italy but this is NOT him okay? This 2P America is based off of shadzu and her co-admin Annie so he isn't all wants-to-take-over-the-world evil. If you have any questions, comments or concerns feel free to drop me a reivew or PM!

Please send in all letters via review!

Keep all letters Rated T!


	2. random unicorn Letter One

Hey dude!

I hear you hate 2p England's cupcakes yet he forces you to eat, them is it true? Who do you hate the most out of the 2ps? How bout the 1ps? What's your favorite type of music? Do you like Three Days Grace? Yes, I ask a lot of questions.

random_unicorn

P.S. Merp.

**HETALIA!**

Sup random_unicorn,

I don't know what you're talking about, Iggy's cupcakes are fucking AMAZING! I could eat them all day and stuff they're _that_ good. Of course his earlier cupcakes tasted like garbage and dead cats but he's gotten loads better at baking. There's really only one cupcake I won't eat and I call it his Crazy Cupcake. I don't know what kinds of drugs or stuff he puts in it but the effects on me are not pretty.

Who do I hate out of the 2Ps? I dunno, I kinda hate everyone to a certain degree... I can definitely tell you which first players I hate, England, Russia, Germany, China, Cuba... the list goes on.

I love rock and metal music and yeah Three Days Grace is awesome as hell! I also like Disturbed and Avenged Sevenfold.

You know what, you're pretty cool for having a girly name.

You'd better write back.

From,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. What?

**HETALIA!**

**TsubakiTwilight:** I don't mean to offend you by calling your username girly! I'm just trying to stay in character!

And thank you random_unicorn for being the first letter!


	3. Saubure and 2P Italy Letter One

_Bonjour_ 2p America,

So you are now answering letters to huh? I heard of you from 2p Italy, 2p Germany, and 2p England. So I would like to say hi.

2p Italy: _Ciao_ 2p America

Angel Hikari: Hey 2p America, 2p Italy is dating Saubure!

Saubure: Do you have to do that every time I send a letter to someone new Angel?

Angel: _Oui_!

Lucy Yagiri: Hey! Rabid Chipmunk, if you are mean to Arisu chan you will deal with my battle ax!

2p Italy: Lucy no! Bad Lucy! Leave 2p America alone! You don't want to traumatize him like you did to 2p England!

Saubure: _Oui_... She attacked 2p England several time and almost killed him once. Each time she would come over he would hide in his closet in fear. She apologized to him though in all caps lock letters. Lucy tends to call me by my human nick name. My human name is Alice Bonnefoy by the way.

2p Italy: Saubure, it's time to leave we don't want to keep Marquis de Blois waiting. He want you to solve the Coco Rose case.

Saubure: _Oui_! Well that's all for now I guess.

From,  
Saubure and 2p Italy

**HETALIA!**

Hey Saubure and Italy,

Did they say anything bad about me? I'm talking about Italy and Germany – I don't really care what Iggy calls me. Though I never pegged Italy as the boyfriend material. I always thought Germany and her were together, guess I was wrong.

Sup Italy. You doing okay?

_Rabid Chipmunk_? Why don't you come and say that to my face! I'm not afraid of you or your battle ax! I've dealt with much worse than a girl carrying a weapon that's too big for her. Though you're wrong bout Iggy, he isn't easily scared and as nations we can't die from physical wounds.

See ya then.

From,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. Tell that Lucy chick I'll be waiting if she has the guts to fight me in person.


	4. TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone Letter One

Dear 2p America,

Who do you have a crush on? Is there anyone you really want to kill right now and why do you hate meat?

From,

TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone and Perth

**HETALIA!**

Sup TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone and Perth,

I don't have a crush on anyone. If I want to get laid I just go out and find a willing woman... or man, I'm not too picky about gender.

No not really, things have been pretty calm between me and the other 2P nations.

I hate meat cause I've seen my counterpart eat and it was DISGUSTING! I swear he shoved five burgers in his mouth as once and then he started _talking_ to me _while_ he was chewing! Oh my fucking god it was the grossest thing I had ever seen! Don't get me started on the hot dogs and chicken wings. Ugh... since then I've been a vegetarian.

From,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	5. rocker chick Letter Two

Dude,

Says that 2p's cooking is WAY better then I heard you hate the cupcakes cause of the Crazy Cupcake.  
I thought you'd like rock and pop shit sucks. I can't believe England let One Direction into America *shudders* and Justin Bieber from Canada *shudders*. At least Canada did give one good thing - Three Days Grace.

random_unicorn  
Actually, that is way too girly, change it to rocker_chick

P.S. Just something me and my friends came up say, it means everything and anything. I looked it up out I'm right.

**HETALIA!**

Sup rocker_chick,

Don't believe anything till you hear it from the source. Like I said before, Iggy's cupcakes are amazing! Like orgasmic amazing. And he hardly makes the Crazy Cupcake and I know what it looks like so it's easy for me to avoid eating it.

Hey, hey! That's my brother you're dissing. The only one who can do that it me got it? 'Sides, it ain't his fault Justin came to America – Usher found and brought Justin in and tons of girls love boy bands and junk so it's no surprise that One Direction is a big hit here.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. Whatever. I think it's strange as fuck.


	6. Monikia Honda Letter One

_Konnichiwa 2_p! America,

(*A auburn haired girl with blue eyes, and is wearing sunglasses over her eyes, appears*)

My name is Monica Honda, or Monika, (since I won't have the same name as my stupid 1p! counterpart) and I need your help. Somehow my stupid 1p! counterpart, Monica, (but I call her Moni) has escaped along with her stupid Red Squad! And then I have my stupid male counterpart Marty always going on and on about his stupid boyfriend, Evan, and then you got Ivana (or Vanni) gossiping with her goddamn annoying sisters. So... if Monica ends up in your closet, bring her to me. Right. Now.

From,

Monika (or Nika, if you wish to call me) Honda

**HETALIA!**

Sup Nika,

Why should I help you? I don't even know you – and don't pull that whole but-your-the-hero crap, my goody goody counetrpart is the "hero" not me. Maybe if I find her I'll keep her in my closet. Pissing people off is what I do best.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. What the hell is a "Red Squad?"


	7. Columbia Letter One

Dear "2p USA",

Heh. Never thought I'd see you start writing letters. Especially since your the cooler America. The vegetarian one. We should hang out bro. This girl is super bored.

Sincerely,  
Andrea Perez  
Colombia

**HETALIA!**

Sup Andrea,

Iggy told me to start doing it since I'm a bit sick and all – said it would help me relax or something I didn't pay attention to him.

Heh. I like you. You obviously know who's the better America. You seem cool so yeah, we'll hang. Just need to figure out when and where.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	8. TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone Letter Two

To 2p America,

Eew that sounds gross (Perth: Its worse first hand) Anyway, I'm curious whats you're favorite song? (Perth : I want to know know what you're favorite band)

See ya,

TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone and Perth

P.S You sound like you think you can get any chick you want BTW.

P.P.S Wait a moment of peace between the 2p's? *Jaw drops* (Perth : Even I'm surprised)

**HETALIA!**

Hey Wolf and Peth,

I shortened your name cause I don't want to keep on writing TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone all the time; and yeah, it was fucking digusting. I can never look at meat the same way.

My favorite song? I dunno, probably The Night by Disturbed. My favorite band would be between Disturbed, Three Days Grace and Avenged Sevenfold.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. Of couse I can; who _wouldn't_ want to sleep with me?

P.P.S. We don't always fight one another ya know. Even we want some peace and quiet every once in a while.


	9. America Letter One

Hey dude,

The better and way more heroic America here. Haha!

Anyways, you are totally a poser. I mean, come on. I'm the original. And everyone loves the original. Haha! Anyways, buh bye!

Alfred F. Jones.

P.S. FUCK YOU BETSH.

**HETALIA!**

Oh, it's you,

First of all, you are _not_ better than me idiot. Who has all the piercings and tattoos you're too much of a baby to get? Me. Who doesn't have an annoying laugh? Me. Who has awesome sunglasses instead of dorky regular ones? Me. Who can do what he wants when he wants? Me. It's clear that I'm the better America – one of my writers even said so and I'm pretty sure she's from your world so hah!

Later loser,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. What'd you call me? Do I have to visit you and beat you up?


	10. Lucy Yagiri Letter One

_Bonjour _2p America,

I can easily carry this battle ax just fine. Now tell me where 2p Japan is!

What's that? You want to fight me? Bring it on rabid chipmunk!

Did you know that Saubure ( Arisu chan) is France's little sister? I'm talking about the 1p one. Arisu chan's 2p self is annoying as hell. With all that pink princess stuff and baking flower shaped cookies and skipping as she walks. Not like our Arisu chan at all. She's the country with the Gothic Lolita dress with the long blonde hair with a frilly black bonnet and has a pet vampire bat. She's basically the French version of 1p America due to her history. Only she is a Goth Loli and is a tsundere. She doesn't smile very often except when she is with 2p Italy, me, and her other friends.

With hate,  
Lucy Yagiri

P.S. I may be a human but I'm immortal so you can't kill me.

**HETALIA!**

Oh it's you,

Why the hell would I tell you where Japan is? And hell yeah I'll fight you. Bring it on girly! I'll be waiting for you at my house!

I didn't know France had a sister. So she's basically a girl Iggy then? My Iggy not yours.

Also with hate,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. That makes our fight much more interesting then doesn't it?


	11. Sunny Letter One

Is it true that your best friend is Russia?

Sincerely,

Sunny

**HETALIA!**

Sup Sunny,

I wouldn't call him my _best_ friend more like a close acquaintance or something. We get along but we don't see each other that much to be considered friends.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	12. 2P! England Letter One

'Ello my little Alfie!

How are you? And would you like a cupcake? I know how much you love my cupcakes! And if you refuse, I'll just keep trying! Most people just don't like my cupcakes! But I know you do!

2P England

**HETALIA!**

Oh hey Iggy,

I'm doing okay, I have a slight cold due to the economy and stuff.

Hell yeah I want a cupcake! Everyone likes your non-poisoned ones Iggy but knowing you you're giving everyone the ones full of poison or whatever drug you put in it.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	13. Missouri Letter One

Dear Alfred,

DADDEH! Well, 2p! Daddy. How are you? I'm fine, sick, but fine. How's your baseball bat doing? Still have nails in it? Also, tell 2p! Missouri to stop being a whimp.

Sincerely,  
Missouri (1p!Missouri.)

**HETALIA!**

Sup Missouri,

Oh, you're the counetrpart to my Missouri huh? Hey. So it my Missouri is such a wimp that must make you a badass right? My bat is doing fine I had to put in new nails after the old ones got ripped out.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. Eat soup and go to bed.


	14. 2P Saubure Letter One

_Bonjour_ 2P!America,

My 1P!self is completely messed up! Did you know that she used to live in Halloween Town? You know the one with Jack Skellington? She even has a portal to that world in her house! By the way, she fed my cookies to her pet vampire bat! So mean! You know my 1P!self's friend, Lucy, sent you a present. It's a toast with red eyes and looks like a zombie. She told me not to tell you, but I won't listen to that psycho freak. If you eat that it will steal your soul! My 1P originally had that toast but she didn't create that, she found it randomly! My 1P!self is so creepy and mean, mostly just to me. 2P!Germany and 2P!Italy adore her! Even 2P!France loves her! *cries*

Love,  
2P Saubure

P.S. Want a cookie? I never poison them like 2p England does so they're safe to eat.

**HETALIA!**

'Sup 2P!Saubure,

… Halloween Town's real? Aw shit man, I fucking LOVE Halloween! Where is her house? I'm gonna go there and show them the _true_ meaning of "horror".

Why would I eat a toast that looks like a fucking zombie? I'm not stupid. Maybe I'll send it to Mattie… bastard's being bugging me about "land division" or some shit like that…

2P!Germany, 2P!Italy _and_ 2P!France? Your counterpart must be a fucking saint or something – or bat-shit insane if _all three of them_ love her.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. I'd fucking love a cookie, thanks.


	15. Missouri Lettero Two

Dear Alfred,

Yeah, I've been over a couple dozen times, sending you random items to fight with.

DANG RIGHT! She's nice, but a wimp and she hates fighting... I gave her a knife and she dropped it.

I have no good soup, but I'm heading to bed right now, which is why I'm not logged in.

Sincerely,  
Missouri

**HETALIA!**

'Sup Missouri,

You're the one who's been doing that? I've always wondered why shy little Missouri would send me new guns and weapons. Thanks then.

I tried giving her some fighting tips but she just ended up running away… probably for the best cause she'd probably end up killing herself or something anyway.

Then make some soup or send that goody-goody counterpart of mine out to the store to get you some soup. And stay in bed.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	16. Alabama Letter One

EYYYY-ehhh...2p!Daddy...what's going on?

So... hurricane, election, foreign affairs, I can't get my mind around it all.

By the way, I'm still kind of mad about the oil spill, and I've been trying to contact England ,but the douche-cano won't answer me and Mama (Fem!America) said I couldn't have my gun back until I stopped harassing California, and I want to go hunting! ... Are we in season though? ...I don't really care.

Can you talk to the both of them?

And tell Louisiana and her counterpart to stop moping about whenever someone brings up Saturday's football game! Geez.

Sincerely,  
Alabama(1p!)

**HETALIA!**

'Sup Alabama,

It just gets more fucking difficult when you're a nation so be glad you aren't one – except for the hurricane… that'd hurt you guys more than me.

Blame my idiot counterpart for that, I had nothing to do with the oil spill. Your England's a bastard anyway, a boring bastard. I wouldn't waste my time on him if I were you. If you wanna go hunting, then go fucking hunting! It don't matter whether you're "in season" or not, there are plenty of animals out there still!

You want me to talk to them? What makes you think they'll listen to me?

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. 2P Louisiana's over the game already.


	17. RockChick Letter Two

Sup Dude,

Yea, I guess that most people think you hate his cupcakes I think.

Ok I got the music sucks, not, it's not their prissy little girls and all the stupid people's need to stop listening to this crap and listen to GOOD music.

Rock_Chick

**HETALIA!**

Hey Rock_Chick,

I fucking _love_ Iggy's cupcake. They. Are. Fucking. Amazing. Like you die-and-go-to-heaven-amazing. The only ones I don't like are his poisoned ones and his Crazy Cupcake.

Trust me, there are A LOT of worse singers out there than Justin and One Direction. A lot.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	18. 2P England Letter Two

'Ello my little Alfie!

Well, that's good! Maybe something will happen with the upcoming election to help your economy! Yay! Here you go! Enjoy! Well, of course! Why wouldn't I! Oh, I use lots of drugs and poisons, not just one specific one! But every once in a while I do bake non-poisoned cupcakes!

2P England

**HETALIA!**

'Sup England,

I fucking hope so. I hate being sick! Thanks, your cupcakes are fucking awesome.

Keep the poisoned/drugged ones away from me! The last time I ate one it was the Crazy Cupcake! Do you _know_ what that shit did to me?!

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	19. Nika Honda Letter Two

_Konnichiwa_ 2p! America,

Too bad. Didn't need your help anyways. I just snuck into your house and got my 1p!Counterpart. That stupid brunette...

And the Red Squad is my 1p!Counterpart (Monica) along with her lackeys, Martin (her male counterpart), Ivan (that bumbling idiot) and Ivanna (the idiot's female counterpart). They usually call themselves either the Pervert Squad or the Red Squad, just because two of them are VERY much a pervert, and the other two are secretly perverts, and just because their colors are pink, dark pink, crimson red, and light red. Besides, if YOU piss me off, you will get me, Evan, Marty and Vanni at your house, and trash it. And don't try to kill us with your stupid bat, I got a rigged light that hurt you at any minute, or my spiked microphone, your choice.

From,

Nika Honda

P.S. Nihon-san (2p! Japan) told me to tell you this: F**k you.

**HETALIA!**

Hey Nika,

Watch it little girl, you _don't _wanna fucking mess with me…

Your "Red Squad" sounds an awful like the Bad Touch Trio.

Oooh… I'm _so_ scared. What's your light gonna do? Blind me to death? That's why I wear sunglasses. Plus, I just don't have my bat, I have a ton of other weapons I could kill you with.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. Fuck you too, Kiku.


	20. Lower Michigan Letter One

...Is it true that over there, Ohio and I are best friends? *gags* Like that would ever happen over here...

1p!Lower!Michigan

**HETALIA!**

Hey Michigan,

I don't fucking know, I don't spend a lot of time with the states.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	21. TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone Letter Three

To 2p America,

Yeah, a lot of people shorten my pen name but it is an awesome penname though. Anyway, where does he even get the burgers from anyway? It's like he pulls them out his ass.

Really? You like them? I'm more a Panic at the Disco and Birds of Tokyo girl. (Perth : gotta love my band)

Well it is shocking. Not even the 1ps get along for a day.

And finally to answer your question, I don't want you and I'm a chicken therefore your streak of getting every girl is ruined muahahahaa *taps fingers evilly together* (Perth : Im on the same boat as you) and no, I'm not lesbian so *pokes younger out :P:

Bye!

From,

TheBlackWolfHuntsAlone and Perth

**HETALIA!**

'Sup Wolf and Perth,

It's a pretty cool penname. I swear he has a secret compartment in his jacket or something! Probably an inter-dimensional one cause there's _no fucking way_ he can stuff that many burgers in his jacket.

Eh, Panic at the Disco's alright though I've never heard of Birds of Tokyo before.

That just shows how much better we are than them!

I meant that every girl I meet wants to sleep with me, guess I'm just that fucking awesome.

See ya,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. If you're a chicken, how the hell are you writing to me?


	22. America Letter Two

Dear jerk-off Jones (see that? That's your nickname),

Pfft, you're such a poser. Only posers get tattoos and piercings. And girls. I'm not too much of a baby, I just like... the clean look! Haha! Betch. Your sunglasses are stuh-upid and I have pretty fucking awesome glasses They aren't dorky! Pfft!

Who lives in the better world? Me. Who's more bad-ass? Me. Who can make friends with whales? GUESS WHAT. ME. Who can beat up their brother? Me. You're probably all 'OMG it's Canadaaaa!' And run away. Like the pussy you are. And I have cooler, BLONDER hair than you! So ha! And I've been told lots of times that I was awesome! So haaaaaa!

Good bye for now,  
Alfred F. Jones

PS: I CALLED YOU A BETSH. Or betch. Or bitch. Doesn't matter. You're also a jerk-off

**HETALIA!**

Dear Loser Jones,

I am _not_ a poser. I'm a fucking awesome guy who's more fucking awesome and better than you! You _wish_ you got all the girls like me! And you know what? Regular glasses are fucking lame. Sunglasses are so much more cooler.

Well at least I remember that he's my brother. I wouldn't be surprised if you Canada hates you for always forgetting about him. Blonde hair is fucking stupid. I bet those people were lying!

Later Loser!,

Alfred F. Jones

The Better USA

P.S. Who'd wanna make friends with whales?


	23. Texas Letter One

Can Ah come to yer lil' partays with the other nations? Ah was once a nation fer eight years, n' Prussia's still going to those partays. In the name of Stephen F. Austin, he's even a fan-favorite. Ah wanna be cool.

_Je vous déteste_,  
República de Texas

**HETALIA!**

'Sup Texas,

I don't care who comes or not, 'sides a party's better with more people!

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. Is that French? Since when do you speak fucking French


	24. Western American Letter One

Dear 2p!America,

I'm the 1p, original, or normal Western America. Do I even have a 2p self? Are you as good looking as people say?

Bye,  
Western America (just call me west)

**HETALIA!**

Hey West,

What's the difference between you and my idiot counterpart?

Everyone has a 2P counterpart; and yes, I _am_ has devilishly handsome as people say I am, it's a curse really – being this good looking.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	25. 2P Elleore Letter One

_Hallo_… Alfred...

It's me, Mia (or 2p!Elleore, whatever). The only reason I'm writing to you is to see if you've seen Arthur lately. I broke into- er, I mean, visited his house the other day and he wasn't home. I swear, it's like he wants to avoid me or something. It's not like I stalk him or anything, I just like to watch him and keep up with every detail of his life...

So... uh, how are you doing?.. Still doing the whole vegan/vegetarian/whatever thing…?

God, this letter looks so stupid...

Write me back,  
Mia Kohler, 2p!Elleore

**HETALIA!**

Hey Mia,

Nope, I haven't seen Iggy lately. Did you check France's and Mattie's house?

Yeah, still a vegan. You doing okay?

Later,

Alfred F. Jones.

USA

P.S. Watching him and telling him everything that's happened to you is fucking stalking.


	26. Veronica Letter One

Hi Al... but you're not the Al I know hmmm... as pertaining to my question...

Does my 2p still have violent mood swings? And still dating 2p Italy? If so then sorry :3 and how's Matt? I worry for you two... anyways, with this letter is metal polish, to clean the nails in your bat...

Signed your 1P sister,  
Veronica S. Jones...

**HETALIA!**

'Sup Veronica,

…. I have a fucking _sister_?! _WHAT?!_ Why the hell did I not know about this?! When I get my hands on Iggy...

I've never actually met your counterpart cause no one's told me about her!

…Fuck…

Mattie's doing fine, I think. We're having a little… discussion over our land borders.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA

P.S. Thanks for the polish, sis.


	27. Starspangledhero Letter One

Dear my little Alfy-poo,

Hi Alfie! i just got back from 2P!Roma's place! Artie was there too! You should take some fashion tips from Roma. Your clothes are too drab. You should also wear peppier colors like orange, or my favorite color ever, SPARKLES! Oh and also, can you come over later? I'm having 2P!China over to smoke some opium and crap. :) You should totes come. Or i'll *bleep* you with a cactus :D

With tons of sparkly, lemon flavored love,  
Starspangledhero

P.S. Isn't my name awesome? America helped me think of it just to piss you off :) but i still luv my Alfy-poo.

**HETALIA!**

Hey… Starspangledhero…

First of all, don't _EVER_ call me "Alfy-poo" again or I'll ram my bat up your ass. Second, no, your name is not awesome, it's _way_ too girly and yes, it does piss me off. And thirdly, I will_ NEVER_ wear sparkles!

Though I will hang out with you and China later, for the opium of course.

Later,

Alfred F. Jones

USA


	28. Absolute-Cheshire Letter One

Dear Alfred,

*A girl with short spiky brown hair, purple striped cat ears, big yellow eyes, and a tight green and purple corset and mini skirt appears.*

Hello, I'm sorry that I have to do this by video, my hand is shaking too much to write. I'll make this short, if you see a boy with spiky orange hair and a top hat wandering around, please bring him to the park near your home. He got drunk off tea (don't ask how that is possible) and left Wonderland! Some things have been going on and he's quite fragile at the moment.

But let me make something clear. If you hurt him in any way or refuse to help, I will claw at your skin, use my sword to rip you open, rip out your vocal cords, beat you with your own bat, shoot you multiple times, drop you in a bag of needles, roll you in salt, then drench you in lemon juice. All while I'm smiling.

*eyes start to glow.* And you haven't even met my 2p...

*Stands up giving him a rather 'good view.*

Bye-Bye!

With smiles,  
Absolute-Cheshire

**HETALIA!**

*The screen is black before turning on and showing 2P!America sitting on a couch.*

Yo Cheshire,

You're my first ever video letter so I figured I'd send one back too. Since you were the first to send in a letter through video I was in a good mood and am sending along the boy you mention with this letter.

*Alfred reaches over and moves the camera so it shows the boy with orange hair*

I fed him one of Iggy's cupcakes and knocked him out.

*He moves the camera back to him*

I've met your counterpart a couple of times already, when Iggy forced me into his "Wonderland" so we're cool with each other.

Bye.

*Alfred reaches up and the screen turns black*


End file.
